Thursday, November 24, 2011

No more Joy Division t-shirts please!





Oh no, it's not another attempt to discuss if the stratospheric degree of hype surrounding Joy Division is deserved or not. Simply to demonstrate that it is totally gay to wear a Joy Division t-shirt in 2011. Especially when the obvious goal behind this is to add a bit of depth, darkness and a certain fascination for morbidity to your hipster panoply.

But first let's travel back in time, to the early nineties, when FashionTerror's pretty face was experiencing the early stages of acne. The words that my grandmother told me that day as I just came back from school with this stupid look of teenage-auto-satisfaction on my face, will remain engraved in my memory forever: "Fuck The Eagles, Cat Steven and all this emo shit you listen to my sweet FashionTerror! If you want to get laid with the hottest indie chicks later, you should only listen to low-fi bands and subtly show off your fondness for artists who committed suicide or died of violent death..."

As always, grandma proved to be right. A few years later, Axl Rose and Slash being still alive, I decided to throw my Guns And Roses t-shirt Use you Illusion II (the blue one) and I bought my first Joy Division t-shirt, hoping for the best. It actually turned out to work quite well, I got laid with a girl who was 19, wore Doc Marteens and striped leggings, had a driving licence and even a car. Hallelujah! I can proudly say that she was my first MILF, sort of... Sadly that was also the same year that Kurt Cobain chose to kill himself. But the idea of wearing a Nirvana t-shirt never crossed our minds though, stressing some of the limitations of grandma's theory: the artist committing suicide or dying of violent death should not exceed a given threshold of popularity at the time the tragedy occurs. His/her popularity is supposed to skyrocket as a result of the death, not directly because of the quality of the artistic material produced while he/she was alive, this is called the Jeff Buckley syndrome.




Anyways, in 2005 the Joy Division t-shirt reached the bottom level of un-coolness, just as its dead skull counterpart did a few years earlier. Ironically, in 2011, wearing a Joy Division t-shirt can simply be considered as a suicide in itself. The Unknown Pleasures shirt is just the new Ramones shirt. Wait a few months and you'll find it in your nearest HM in three different bleached shades...
As we are inexorably approaching 2012, the only question worth attention has absolutely nothing to do with how we are going to save the economy of the West but: What is today's equivalent of the Joy Division t-shirt of the nineties? You know this special t-shirt that makes you look cooler than your cooler friends...




Peace on Earth, war on stage
/fashionterror

PS: I just can't help, I have to share this, here are the best google queries that took some random people to this page:
"dumb bitches wearing joy division t-shirts" (UK)
"guns n roses t-shirt girl" (Sweden) *_*
"joy division hipster" (Brazil)
"joy division paita" (Finland)
"joy division hm" (Holland)
"how to wear a joy division shirt" (UK)
"why does everyone wear joy division t shirts" (UK)
"wearing joy division t-shirt" (Italy)

5 comments:

  1. ha ha u made my day fakeass terror!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea and This is piece of booger blogg

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  2. You Dumb and u won't terror anythin.................Ugly name Fagg terra

    ReplyDelete
  3. Facion Tellol u need to shut the shit up

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey u terror DUMB SHIT Don't judge anything go kill yourself or We will kill u and throw poop on ur fokin GRAVE!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete