Monday, December 5, 2011

R.I.P tote bags




Dear readers, let me first apologize for not providing you with more graceful LoFi post-streetstyle material and tragically remaining in the depressing world of fashion dismay...
We at FTS are sooooo tired of tote bags, enough is enough! It was cool 3 yeas ago seriously, right now it's just the overdose... And there is something much worse than the usual vintage-lover-girl version of the tote bag you see veryday such as "Beyond Retro", "I <3 NY" or "Fashion Week Stockholm", a tote bag with the lamest politically (un-)engaged line ever like this...
God gave me the privilege to witness this while I was having my lunch today, I almost barfed. This time it is my dear friend Saeed who convinced me that it was worth getting my ass off my chair and staining my mobile phone with tomato sauce. "Fuck Racism!" "Fuck Racism!" "Fuck Racism!", yes, 3 times in case we are r*** (retarded not racist). Sweetheart, if you'd been living in the American South 100 years ago that would have been cool and engaged, or maybe even nowadays at a football match in Moscow, but not here, not now. We all know that it is very very bad to be racist and we even learn this at school.


So what's next? The "Pedophiles are assholes" tote bag??? Stop! Be a bit more creative and subversive for the love of Sid Vicious! You wanna go political then be more hardcore and brave with something like "We gangbanged the pope". Do you want to shock old ladies? The f-word doesn't work anymore so simply go for a "Free Josef Fritzel" tote bag instead.
From Fashionterror's point of view nothing replaces the good old supermarket plastic bag introduced a while ago by his true (still alive) idol: Michel Houellebecq. In case you guys are ignorant, Michel Houellebecq is probably the most talented writer alive on Earth. Take this in your face you mindie bitches:


No way we will ever reach the degree of coolness of Michel but at least we can die trying. So Remember today's lesson: burn your tote bag, replace it with a plastic bag and start smoking if you don't.

Démonstration par Fashionterror himself, I definitively love this subtle weirdo in the park touch that my plastic bag adds to my panoply...


Peace and love
/fashionterror

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